Sunday, August 4, 2013

What is "Success"?

Hi there! Today was a good Fun in the Sun-day. It included lots of walking. Walking around parks, walking around the neighborhood, walking through the grocery store, y'know. Thrilling stuff.

Also, I sold a ton of my old clothes and made $40. Fab. And of course I'll use that money to buy MORE clothes. It seems like even though I keep buying stuff, the list of things I need continues to grow...;)

In other news, I'd like to share with you the graphic of the day:

This picture, which I love, encapsulates my entire summer health journey. It also looks pretty similar to my current weight loss graph (a.k.a. it's pointing UP right now. Bad.)

Somehow I gained almost a full two pounds in just 3-4 days of a non calorie-counting lifestyle. On these days, I exercised, used good judgment for portion control, and tried to drink lots of water and stay active, while still indulging a little on the "good stuff" like a dinner out at McAlister's and ice cream with friends. I did all the things I would do if I were trying to stay healthy and maintain my weight, yet enjoy my life and not obsess over weight loss. And I GAINED.

This just makes me very distraught and worried for the future. Am I destined to be overweight? Can I ever live a normal life and still maintain a healthy weight? Must I incessantly document every food I eat and work out six days a week in order to look normal? Will I ever achieve success by hitting my UGW (ultimate goal weight) and staying thin and healthy for the rest of my life?

I have no idea.

But, like this lovely graphic shows, success isn't a simple, solitary event that just comes up out of the blue. It's not just: Get healthy, see results, gradually lose weight until the perfect day arrives when you reach your goal weight and look like a goddess. 

It's more like: Get healthy, see results, gradually lose weight, remember that cookie cake exists and eat a few pieces of it, gain some weight, work out again and lose some weight, and then maybe one day reach your goal weight and not resemble Jabba the Hutt.

The point: Being healthy and losing weight feels amazing. Seeing your measurements get lower and lower rocks. However, conquering your fears, trying new things, and achieving little victories are worth more. They attribute to making you a better you and will make you feel more successful than any petty measurement of your body mass. Success isn't a number on a scale. It's a journey. It's a state of mind. And it takes time.

*        *        *        *        *        *        *

I'm feeling very bittersweet going into the last week of camp, which will lead right into the last few days of summer. This summer has been really eye-opening and special for me and I'm sad to see it end. I'll miss all of my co-workers. My beloved, adorable little campers, who touch my life every day. I'll miss family dinners with my mom and dad. My cat sleeping at the foot of my bed. The warmth that encompasses me when I truly feel at home. 

But, there are new adventures to be had and new memories to be made. And life begins where your comfort zone ends.
So. Let's go out with a bang and have a fabulous finale of summer 2013. And let's celebrate hope, courage, and new beginnings.


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