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My "Feel Good" treat for the day was an amazing 2-hour nap. I haven't napped in ages and it felt soooo good. Also, had a fun evening making a fool of myself onstage and playing games with kiddos at the camp open house!
I am struggling so much to stay motivated. It's very pathetic, but unhealthy food is, sadly, largely responsible for my happiness. I get cravings and I'm not able to give in to them and it makes me feel sad and like I'm missing out. It sssssuuuuuccccckkkkksssss driving past Arby's even though I have the world's strongest craving for mozzarella sticks and a jamocha shake. And then going home and eating a freakin chicken breast. :( And my brain is like: WHAT is the point of losing all this weight right now? If you even succeed, which doesn't even seem like a feasible reality at this point, you will gain everything back by the time you wanna wear a bikini on spring break. Just wait til December and try again then. No need to torture yourself with all this exercise and healthy eating if you're not gunna get anything to show for it.
My brain has a point. And then, my conniving brain also tries to convince me: Even if you get to your ideal weight, you will have all the same self-esteem issues you have now. You've gotta learn to love yourself, because you will always have some flaws that you can't stand about yourself and you will NEVER EVER be perfect!
Right again, brain. But the thing is, I've been telling myself for years: This is the summer. I will finally lose weight and feel good about myself. After coming this far, I would hate myself later for giving up. And if I somehow do really shed the pounds, I will look so much better and everyone will notice!
Does anyone have any words of wisdom to motivate me? Should I give in to my brain's wishes and just abandon everything? Or should I just eat whatever I want and work out like a maniac to burn it all off, hoping for results? Or should I continue down the road I'm on and suffer through healthy eating and exercising with the possibility that no weight will even come off?
In short, HELP.
-Ellen
You shouldn't give up because you have worked so hard to get yourself MENTALLY prepped for this, which is half the battle. You are doing so well and I know that you'll get great results at the end of the summer. It doesn't matter what the scale says but if your clothes are fitting better and you're feeling better, that's the big win!
ReplyDeleteI know you're super artsy and into crafts, so maybe try a real life motivation board! My sister has one and she glues all these pictures of bikinis she loves and things she wants to do and she re-decorates it whenever she's feeling down. Another boost for me is seeing people's success stories. When I see people bigger than me succeeding, it motivates me even more to push myself harder because I know that if they can do it, then so can I.
But whatever the case, you're doing great!
Esha, thanks so much for the comment! I love the motivation board idea, might try that out this week! :) Don't worry, I'm not giving up!
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