What you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful.

Hey there! :)

My life has been pretty uneventful for the last couple of days. Camp's been going well.

I started my 5-lb. victory shopping spree! So far I've hit DSW, Old Navy, and American Eagle. Next up are Nordstrom Rack and the Castleton stores :) :) Yay clothes.

Today was kind of momentous because I purchased my first bikini ever. I know it's supposed to be just for when I've lost 20 lbs, but I felt that I should have one just in case an event comes up which basically requires me to wear it. Hopefully, it won't. I don't look good in it AT ALL!!!!

Even though I've lost a little bit of weight, my self confidence is still miserable. I've been dressing comfortably and conservatively for so long, even though I long to be fashionable and wear so many clothing items that my brain considers off limits. Will I ever feel good in my own skin? Is this a weight issue, or will I feel this way even at my ultimate goal weight? Who's to say. It's important for me to remember that this isn't just a weight loss journey. It's a journey of improving my overall health, and an important part of that is embracing who I am. Gunna try to keep that on the back burner so I don't feel so down whenever I go shopping.

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Health Updates: Level 3 is going well! I was curious to see how many calories each one of the 30 Day Shred workouts burns, and the number I found was a bit lower than expected. Even though I'm dying, sweating, and crawling up the stairs after the intense workouts, I'm apparently burning less than 200 calories....WHAT. So, I plan to add running to my exercise plan. Just 20 minutes or so, at my own pace. I was really hoping to lose all this weight without resorting to my least favorite thing in the universe, but looks like it might be a necessary addition to my routine.

Only, what, 7 weeks left this summer? Not nearly enough! Challenging myself to lose 7 more pounds.

Have a fab weekend.
-Ellen

You are as beautiful and strong as you feel!